Naruto has how many date's?
by G4 Fan Man
Summary: Tsunade's got a problem.... an old friend has come to ask a favor. and Naruto, Sakura, Ino, Tenten, and Hinata all fit smack dab in the middle of it all! along with a certain bratty, spoiled, rotten little girl.
1. Chapter 1

_Note that Naruto could end up with any one of the kunoichi in this, I just prefer Sakura._

Tsunade the fifth Hokage of the village of Konoha was sitting at her desk trying her best to finish her rather large stack of paperwork without killing someone when their was a knock at her door. "What is it?!" She yelled not in the mood for guests. The person at the door seemed unfazed as they opened the door only making Tsunade even angrier. "Who the hell is it- oh shit!"

Tsunade couldn't believe her eyes. "Oh hello Akimo!" She nervously smiled as the man known as Akimo took a seat in front of her, a look of distaste on his face. "Tsunade my old friend, I am pleased to see how well you are doing." Tsunade laughed even more nervously. "Yes, ho-how is your daughter?" Akimo nodded.

"Not as good as I could hope." Tsunade looked surprised. "Oh, is there anything I can do to help?" She asked hoping to Kami that he would accept her favor whatever it may be. "You see my old friend, It is my sweet little angels most horrible misfortune that her boyfriend has left her on the eve of her most important sweet 16 birthday party, and all of her friends will be oh so cruel to her to have no date on this most joyous occasion."

Tsunade nodded lightly. "Ok um, how can I help?" He smiled. "It has come to my attention that you are now in charge of a wide variety of ninja, I respect that and would be most happy if you would be so kind as to lend one of your ninja to be my little flowers date/boyfriend until such time that my little angel can find a replacement." Tsunade didn't know what to say. "Um, I could do that…"

Akimo smiled. "Perfect! My baby has given me a description of what she is looking for." He handed her a piece of paper with the details, Tsunade looked it over and went bug eyed. "Oh no…" Akimo frowned. "What is wrong?" Tsunade turned pale. "There is only one Ninja I have that fits this description…and his name is-"

Somewhere in the village of Konoha a blond haired Ninja was punched into a brick wall by a certain pink haired kunoichi. "NARUTO! HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY BUTT!" Naruto got up quickly. "No wait Sakura it was an accident I swear!" The hyperactive blond backed away in fear. "I KNEW AFTER SPENDING THREE YEARS WITH JIRAIYA YOU WOULD BE A PERVERT!"

Tsunade hit her head on her desk. "Are you sure there are no other options?" Akimo frowned. "No, my baby was VERY specific: Blond hair, Blue eyes, protecting, and hopefully easy to control!" Tsunade's eyes twitched. "Well that is kind of Naruto but-" Akimo grinned. "Perfect! You have someone?"

Tsunade chuckled lightly. "Well I wouldn't say he's the best…but he IS the only one who matches what your child wants…" Akimo clapped his hands happily. "Excellent! Send for him at once! My baby CANNOT be kept waiting, oh and one more thing…" Tsunade held her head in pain from the headache she was getting. "My darling is the sort of COMPETATIVE sort… she has also requested that you send a number of ladies to act as… shall we say, jealous exes?"

Tsunade groaned mentally. "I think I have a few who could..." Akimo was very please. "Tsunade I am very happy that you can help me with this, for it you can consider that little gambling debt you owe me totally gone!" Tsunade was relieved but still didn't know what to do about Naruto. "Hmm, who should I send? Sakura definitely, she can keep her head on the mission without falling head over heels, and I suppose Ino and Tenten could work…but what about Hinata?"

Everyone knew that Hinata was head over heels in love with Naruto…except Naruto himself. "Baka! I'll just send them all! She slammed her hand on her desk causing a small crack. "Shizune! Call for Naruto, Sakura, Ino, Tenten, and Hinata!" Shizune zoomed into the room like a bat out of hell. "Tsunade-sama! Akimo was just here!" Shizune and Tsunade shivered.

"I know…he bought some ninja help…" Shizune shivered. "For what?" Tsunade grinned grabbing a large thing of sake. "Sit down and have a drink with me…you to Jiraiya!" The perverted hermit came through the window grinning evilly as he wrote things down in his notebook. "Oh brilliant brilliant brilliant!" He cackled like an idiot as Tsunade smacked him into the wall.

"No games Jiraiya! This is serious!" Shizune looked confused as Tsunade sighed pooring them all drinks. "This mission is gonna go down in history…"

_I think I kinda ruined the suspense of it all. Except of course why Tsunade is scared of Akimo! REVIEW FOR CHAPTER 2! Hey I'm a poet!_


	2. Chapter 2

_I am very happy to know I have so many fans._

Naruto Uzumaki stood before Tsunade looking bored and annoyed. Sakura, Hinata, Ino, and Ten-ten were all there to! "Naruto, stand at attention!"

Tsunade said half drunk. "I need every last one of you to be incredibly careful on this mission, it is S classed!"

Hinata and Ten-ten gasped, Ino looked surprised, Sakura had her mouth open in shock while Naruto… "ALRIGHT! Finally a mission worthy of my great skill that I can use to impress Sakura!"

Tsunade threw her empty bottle of sake at Naruto's head. "Oh Naruto I'm sorry! Are you bruised?"

She quickly jumped over to heal whatever injury she might have inflicted causing everyone to look either confused, scared, or both.

"Um Tsunade-sama, what's wrong with you?"

Sakura asked knowing that no amount of sake in the world could possibly get her so drunk as to show motherly instincts towards her baka teammate. "No-nothing Sakura!"

She sighed with relief when he didn't have any bruises. "What is this BIG mission?"

Ino asked confused while Hinata and Ten-ten stayed a good distance away.

Tsunade sighed and opened another sake bottle. "You 5 are going to have to go on a month long mission to act as jealous ex's of Naruto who will also be playing the part of a boyfriend to an old friends' daughter…"

It took a minute for all this to sink in before a sudden. "WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?"

Filled the air and everyone in Konoha covered their ears.

"It's difficult to explain… you see, an old gambling debt has just followed me here and now I have to repay or pay!"

She used emphasis on the word pay. "But Tsunade-sama, you're the Hokage! You have a very good some of money given to you yearly!"

Tsunade blushed while closed her eyes.

"Unfortunately other debts needed filled…"

Sakura gaped. "You must be joking…"

Tsunade brushed the question away. "Anyway, the man who I owed the debt to… Akimo Kusanogi… he came here in order to collect… but he needed a favor you see, a date for his daughter."

Naruto nodded in understanding causing everyone to stare at him in shock.

"You actually understand what she's saying???"

Ino asked dumbfounded while he smiled. "I guess those years with Jiraiya gave me the ability to understand women!"

They nodded. "So now I need you Naruto, and the rest of you. To go and keep this girl happy!"

Sakura spoke up. "But Sensei… why do you need us?"

Sakura and the others all nodded in confusion while Tsunade sighed. "This girl likes competition."

All the girls nodded before falling over except Hinata who blushed as red as Gai sensei did after trying to hold his breathe under water for 5 hours to beat Kakashi's record of 4. "You can't be serious!"

Ino shouted pointing at Naruto. "I'm expected to act like I'm in love with that bozo!"

Naruto nodded in agreement before snapping into reality. "Hey!"

Hinata blushed and spoke. "Na-Naruto-kun, I will do my best…"

Sakura stared at her knowingly. "Same here Tsunade-sama."

Ten-ten and Ino both sighed nodding their heads. "But Hokage-sama…"

Ten-ten finally spoke. "How big was your debt to Akimo?"

Tsunade gulped and motioned them all to come closer.

She whispered the amount just as the farmer 5 miles away from Konoha went outside to continue working when a strange sound came from Konoha sounding like… "1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 YEN!!!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!!"

_Now the mission has been given. Hope you like!_


	3. Chapter 3

_This fic is going good so far as far as fans go, I would like to thank X Serac for being my beta reader for this story lets all give him a hand! gets a cleaver form a line!_

Naruto sat on top of the hokage monument looking out at the village as he began to think about the mission he had just been assigned and the prospect of getting to have Sakura act like his jealous ex. After the three years he spent training with Jiraiya and discovering that Akatsuki's movements had for the oddest reason slowed down to a near dead stop, Naruto had been overjoyed to return to Konoha and see his friends. Especially Sakura!

"Hehe, this is going to be great, I'll finally show Sakura how great I've become!"

"In order to do that, you're going to need a condom and a lot more guts than you got now, kid!" A cheerful yet perverted voice interrupted from behind Naruto, causing him to jump.

"Ero sennin what are you doing here?" Naruto growled out as he turned to face his ultimately too perverted for any SVU cops Bingo book teacher.

"Well I came to say hi to my favorite student, of course! And to also finally pass on my magnificent wisdom of….drum roll please!" Clouds of smoke and a drum roll started up as Naruto looked around for the source, "MY WOMEN KNOWLEDGE!" Jiraiya screamed to the village giving Naruto a thumbs up and striking a pose while standing on one foot with a perverted grin on his face and a trail of red leaking out his old nose.

"Ha, yeah right, Ero sennin!" Naruto grumbled. "Like I would ever take advice on women from a perverted old toad like you!"

Jiraiya fell over then stood back up looking annoyed. "Stupid baka, I am the legendary **JIRAIYA!**" He said, sounding far too dramatic for cause. "I have been to the taverns of sand, the bars of earth, the brothels of mist, the--"

Naruto cut him off, "Whoa, whoa, whoa hold it! You've been to brothels?" He asked crossing his arms and giving his teacher a rather perplexed look with a hint of 'how the hell am I not surprised?' stuck into it.

Jiraiya giggled evily as he got an even darker yet perverted face on then the time he caught Naruto moaning in his sleep while whispering about how SHE tasted so good, but had his hopes shattered when it turned out the blonde was talking to his ramen.

Yes, Jiraiya had been spending the past few years trying to taint our young hero to the dark side of love and life, yet Naruto is either too decent or too dumb to go… probably too dumb. But, either way, the point is that this time Jiraiya had a plan, and with this new mission coming along and Naruto being put in such a complex situation with SO MUCH estrogen, there was really not a chance in a cold hell run by muskrats that it would fail...

"Naruto, my boy, I have lived a LONG time and I can tell you that I have plenty of experience involving women."

Naruto scoffed. "Uh huh, I know you've lived a LONG time. That's why you have those man pills stuffed in your bag."

"Hey, no! Those are...for my..."

"Limpness?"

"SHUT UP! Like I was saying, I have lots of experience with women, and-"

"Ya, when they're not looking or are too drunk to notice they were in bed with an ancient crustacean…"

Jiraiya glared and smacked his student over the head with his sandal. "I am a very respected Sannin of Konoha you twerp!"

Naruto held his head. "Could have fooled me, you old grouch!"

Jiraiya countered. "Well it wouldn't be hard, just graze your nose with the scent of ramen and there we go!"

Naruto growled. "Perverted old perv!"

"Idiot baka student!"

Naruto and Jiraiya were left to argue as Kakashi sighed from his hiding spot a couple of yards down. "Some things never change…"

Kakashi chuckled, reading his porn, "Still, I wonder how Sakura is handling this?"

He thought to himself, flipping the page that lead to the ultimate cheesy love scene he had been waiting for…

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"God this is terrible!" Sakura wailed. "I have nothing to wear for a month that will seem decent!"

Ino groaned. "Chill out, forehead girl! I'm sure that if Naruto has been decent enough not to make a move on you this long he won't care if you're stuck next to him wearing short shorts and those tank tops you wear."

Sakura growled. "He already did this morning!"

Hinata who was also in Sakura's room helping her pack fell over while Tenten missed her mark which was a fly she was aiming at and ended up sticking a kunai in Ino's bum.

"OUCH!" She pulled it out and tried to kill Tenten, "And what do you mean he already tried something?" She asked trying to stick the kunai in Tenten's eye.

Sakura sighed. "This morning Naruto touched my butt…"

Hinata fell over this time while Tenten and Ino stopped what they were doing, "No way!!!" They both exclaimed, "Details!" They both exclaimed, rushing over to her while helping Hinata up.

"Well, this morning as we were going out for ramen we were talking and when he asked if he could hold my hand I decided I might as well since he had been so good lately and when he reached for my hand he touched my butt instead."

As Sakura relayed this information Ino nodded slowly, "Forehead girl, you weren't swinging your hands, were you?" Ino asked nervously while Sakura thought.

"Um, yes?"

Ino smacked her own forehead. "Your monstrous strength sent his hand back against your butt, you made him touch your butt you billboard brow! Please tell me you didn't hurt him did you?"

Sakura turned blue and recalled the little 'talk' she had with Naruto after that and gulped. "Oh no… I have to go apologize!"

She made to leave as Ino called out. "Maybe you should let him hurt you, a spanking would be appropriate!"

Hinata, who could barely stand at this point, imagined Naruto giving Sakura a spanking. It was weird how in her head it looked and sounded a lot more like...not punishment. Why the hell was Naruto wearing black leather and chains? When the Sakura in Hinata's head asked Naruto to get the whip, she fainted again, much to Tenten's annoyance. "You can carry her you dolt!"

However, Sakura had come back to clobber Ino before she left Tenten to two bodies to carry out of there.

Sakura raced down the street, growling to herself for being so stupid earlier and also for not being fatal in dealing with Ino correctly, "Stupid baka, suggesting such an idea!"

As she made her way to the ramen shop, where she was sure he would be, she found to her great surprise he wasn't there, "Where could he be?"

She looked around for any sign of orange and black and noticed that on the Hokage monument was what looked like an orange and black dot jumping on a green and red dot. "What the…"

She made her way to the monument and snuck up slowly hoping to figure out what was going on. As she got closer she heard mumbling and then words.

"Perverted hermit!"

Naruto…

"Stupid unperverted student!"

Jiraiya…

Sakura sighed, "I'll apologize later…"

She shrugged and made her way back home to find that Tenten was still there, trying to wake an incoherent Ino and Hinata. "Jeez, Hinata still won't wake up… I think that spanking comment was to much!"

Sakura sighed and growled, kicking Ino who woke up in pain. "Ow, what was that for, forehead girl!?"

Sakura growled. "For you to get up and go pack, we leave tomorrow."

Ino got up aching and sneered. "Jeez, forehead girl I would have figured a little comment like that wouldn't have set you off, unless I struck a nerve? Oh does little Sakura have a spanking fetish?"

Ino cackled more evilly as Sakura began to chase her out of her house while Tenten unsuccessfully tried to reawaken Hinata.


	4. Chapter 4

Tsunade's supply of sake had grown shorter and shorter the past few days ever since her little meeting with Akimo. She found herself constantly at wits end on what she would do if Naruto were to screw up or, she laughed at this idea even more, one of the girls actually fell for him! Of course, with the way that Naruto had changed in the last 3 years, it didn't seem so far fetched… Tsunade had interrogated Jiraiya VERY thoroughly on the subject by threatening him with the dreaded exam that men his age often needed, even for a shinobi!

"Ugh, I suppose that even Naruto might have gained a slight little bit of perversion by that baka Jiraiya!" Tsunade chugged down another delicious bottle of rice wine and decided to get up from her desk and say goodbye to the shinobi she was sending to a near literal doom at the hands of that little demon daughter of Akimo's… "Alright, time to go!" She called for her assistant and 1st in command apprentice Shizune. "Shizune, send for Kakashi and Jiraiya, tell them to meet myself and the team going to Akimo's at the main gate…"

Shizune nodded, looking slightly exasperated. "Tsunade-sama, are you sure it is wise to be sending them off without any jounin support?"

Tsunade scoffed. "For what? All they will be doing is handling one little girl… one evil, diabolical, rich, spoiled rotten, little girl who needs a good few smacks to her pretty pampered butt!" Tsunade smashed her desk in two for emphasis. "I swear to god if she in any way hurts my apprentice I will—" She couldn't finish as she had to catch her breath and cool down. "Oh, what can I do against the feudal lord of Earth country?"

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Naruto sat down, happily slurping down his 27th bowl of Ichiraku ramen as the store owner and his daughter, both smiling, handed him another one. "Say, Naruto, that's your 28th bowl, now, are you going on some big mission?"

Naruto nodded. "I'm going to be the boyfriend of some big rich guy's daughter."

He said, slurping that bowl down and getting another from Ayame who looked dumbfounded.

"You're what!?"

Naruto ate the bowl sheepishly. "Well, it's to help Tsunade-baachan with some big debt, so I have to…" He said, not including the part where he would have 4 other very hot girls with him all pretending to be all over him, including Sakura-chan.

"Well good for you Naruto! It's about time you finally took an interest in girls and got over looking for Sasuke, I was starting to think you were gay!" The ramen shop owner laughed, while Ayame gasped.

"Dad! Naruto-kun is not gay!"

Naruto blushed wildly but smiled at Ayame's help. "Ya! I look for him because he's my friend and I promised Sakura-chan!"

Ayame smiled at him. "And it is very good of you to keep that promise!" She dropped extra noodles in his bowl. "On the house!" She said smiling as her dad was simply shut up by her hand over his mouth. Naruto blinked at this but thanked her and continued feasting as Sakura walked up behind him trailed by Hinata, who appeared to be a little wary after being unconscious and slightly sedated after continuously waking in the middle of the night covered in a cold sweat screaming something about Sakura, a whip, and Naruto in black leather! Needless to say the medical staff all gave Sakura funny looks during her shift…

Tenten came shortly after carrying a lightly bruised Ino who still had a bandaged bum from getting a kunai stuck in it.

Ino growled at Sakura. "Jesus, forehead girl why did you have to take that Naruto spanking you comment so seriously!"

Ayame seemed to have heard that as well as Hinata, who fell over, causing Tenten to drop Ino in anger, Sakura to blush to the shade of a tomato, Ino to develop a nasty hematoma on her arm, and Naruto to spit out his ramen and choke. All this was quickly made insignificant by Ayame missing her mark while chopping a hard boiled egg in half and damn near slicing Naruto's finger off… she was clearly a little freaked out.

"WHAT!?"

Naruto and Ayame both screamed out at the top of their lungs as Sakura, rather embarrassed, now simply muttered, "I'll explain it all after I kill Ino…"

Ino was now seen running off down the street by Iruka who had heard about Naruto's mission and wanted to meet him to say goodbye and well, it's not that hard to find Naruto. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Ino called to Sakura who was chasing her with a large battle axe she borrowed from Tenten who had to carry Hinata again.

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto called to him as he helped Ayame clean up his spit up ramen. "How about you buy your favorite ex-student a bowl of ramen before he goes on his big mission?"

Naruto asked happily while Tenten, sighing, sat Hinata down and was sadly unsuccessful in reawakening her.

"I hope Ino gets worse then a kunai in her ass this time!" Tenten growled, helping herself to Naruto's next bowl.

Iruka raised an eyebrow, "I'm not even going to ask when that happened, who put it there, and whether or not it was consensual. I'm probably better off not knowing.

Not paying any attention to his old teacher, Naruto turned his attention to Tenten, "Hey!" He moaned as Tenten smiled, giggling.

"Take a break from food and help Hinata!"

Naruto unhappily shook Hinata gently. "Hey Hinata, wake up!"

Naruto wailed trying to reawaken his friend who, after a bit of shaking, woke up. "Wh-what?"

Hinata saw that Naruto had been shaking her and after a few quick stutters began to faint once more. "Oh no you don't!"

Tenten shouted, landing an open palmed smack to her ass causing her to squeak, reawaken, and have to rub her bum. "Ow, Tenten? What happened? Why did you hit me?"

Ayame giggled as Iruka sat down next to Naruto. "So Naruto, I hear you're going on a big mission with Sakura, Hinata, Ino, and Tenten!"

He said, sounding like he was about to pass out. For Iruka this was going to be hard for he was about to give Naruto… the talk! Naruto started on another bowl, interested as Tenten perked her ears up listening and Hinata just blushed sitting next to Naruto feeling apprehensive towards Tenten for smacking her.

"So Naruto, I think it's about time to—"

Iruka was interrupted as a strong hand smacked Naruto on the shoulders laughing. "Well Naruto how's it been going?"

Naruto choked on his ramen as he turned around to see Asuma-sensei being followed by both Kurenai and Gai-sensei.

"EH? What do you guys want?" Tenten asked as she noticed her sensei crying dramatically, big surprise… "Oh it is so youthful, Naruto, you are about to go on the most extravagant experience of youth ever open to a young man of your character!"

As he was talking fireworks erupted behind him causing everyone to wonder whether or not Kurenai wasn't the only talented Genjutsu specialist.

"Eh!?" Naruto asked as Asuma lit up a cigarette and sat down next to him while Kurenai, who looked a little nervous, sat down on his other side shoving Iruka over. "Now, Naruto, you're going to be on this mission for a good many months, and as a boy your age starts to develop he gets certain…--"

"YOUTHFUL DAYDREAMS!" Gai broke in interrupting Kurenai who twitched and punched him into the ground causing Tenten to gape, Naruto to shake a little, and Asuma to chuckle nervously as he spoke. "Naruto I just have one little thing to tell you…"

Asuma cleared his throat as suddenly Kurenai broke in followed by Gai all with their own little words.

"LET THE YOUTH FLOW!"

"USE COMMON SENSE WITH INO!"

"DON'T #$& WITH HINATA!"

Every sensei shrieked at a confused Naruto while Tenten just got dotty little eyes, a line mouth, and fainted. Asuma by now was shaking and grabbed Naruto by his chest. "I mean it Naruto! Trust me, Ino could kill you!"

Kurenai herself had different words and simply held a sharpened kunai to a spot near Naruto that caused even the old ramen man's voice to go higher. "Don't let me catch you missing your throw with a kunai on Hinata, catch my drift?"

Naruto gulped. "Um, but I've been practicing my shuriken training!"

Gai however simply smiled big and patted Naruto on the head. "That's right Naruto, when you and Ten-ten start to feel the fireworks of youth start to explode, embrace the fires of youth!"

Naruto looked unsure. "But wouldn't that burn?"

Every sensei looked like they were about to piss their pants in annoyance as Iruka spoke over the crowd. "Naruto just remember, USE PROTECTION!"

Every sensei nodded their heads while the ramen owner and his daughter Ayame, who by now had a slight nosebleed were all in agreement.

"Um… ok then." Naruto gulped and ran off. "See you guys later!"

He said scared now for his life as Tenten grabbed Hinata's arm. "Ya bye guys!"

The two girls scurried after Naruto and were quickly out of sight. "Well, that went well!"

Kurenai smiled and they were all about to leave when the ramen owner who was busy trying to hold up his drooling starry eyed daughter got their attention. "So who's taking care of the bill?"

The sensei's all gulped looking at each other as Kakashi poofed out of nowhere expecting to find him there and give him advice on Sakura by letting him read chapter 38. of Icha Icha paradise. "Oh hi Naruto I was just coming by to say--…"

When the other Sensei's saw him they all pointed to him, poofed away and left a confused Kakashi who stared at the well over 60 empty ramen bowls and said… "NARUTO!!!"

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Sakura was chasing after Ino who by now was starting to slow down from fatigue, after all Sakura had a sannin for a trainer! "Please Sakura-chan I'm sorry!"

Ino cried as her legs were on fire and she knew she would soon be dead.

"Sorry my ass!"

Ino couldn't help but crack a laugh. "Your ass would be sorry after Naruto was done with it!" She giggled as Sakura growled in fury and picked up the pace as Ino realized her mouth was just to big for her own good, except in bed… "Aaaaagh!" Ino cried as she used up one last dead sprint and without looking smashed into someone and fell over.

"Oh I'm sorry!"

When she saw she had landed on Jiraiya, and that he was drooling she quickly smashed her foot into his golden years and got up feeling energized. "OLD PERV!"

As she was about to walk away Sakura tackled her, pinned her to the ground, and was about to strangle her when she was stopped by the plain fact that in tackling Ino, she had accidently snapped her own bra and her mantel pieces were now slipping out. "Aaagh!"

She quickly fixed the situation and now very red, began to slip into the shadows to hide.

Ino also counted her blessings even though she had her childhood friends training trophies in her face. "I need to get out of here before she comes back!" She cried making her way to the main gate to meet up with Naruto and the others. Jiraiya meanwhile was left crying on the ground for all the people to point out and laugh at.


	5. Chapter 5

_Don't mind the fact that this chapter is a little hectic since I wrote it quickly trying to please you fans, I might also redo this chapter if XSerac ever gets around to editing it._

Naruto was by no means in a hurry to get on the road, himself included, the other shinobi that would be working with him this coming month were probably all as nervous as they had been on their first chunin exam. "So Naruto I was wondering if we could talk…"

Naruto was broken from his concentration as he looked over at Tenten. "What is it Tenten?"

Tenten gulped slowly as she gathered her thoughts. Hinata also tried to gather up the guts to talked to her beloved Naruto-kun. "Naruto um, on this mission we will be expected to well- to act like we were once involved with you…"

Tenten stared with her chocolate brown eyes into his aqua blue ones.

"Ya ya I know, so whats your point?"

Naruto asked confused. Tenten grinned anxious. "Well its just that, if we are going to be you know, in the position where we have to make it seem like were REALLY still interested with you you do know that any and all acting we put on will ALL be acting correct?"

Naruto shrugged crossing his arms. "Um ya I suppose…"

Tenten nodded. "So for the next month you are not to be getting any funny ideas from: Me touching you, kissing you, growling at other girls around you, backhanding any certain kunoichies, or perhaps even going on an all out glomping session with you that may involve several high pitched kuwai noises and then me pinning you to the ground!"

As Tenten finished her list she took in a deep breath as Naruto nodded. "Uh huh uh huh, got it Tenten!"

He smiled happily as Tenten grinned glad. "Good, and just in case…"

Tenten suddenly pulled out a rather oversized scroll and tossed it to him, Naruto thought he could catch it but ended up in a heap on the ground. "ooph! Tenten whats this?"

Tenten smiled. "A contract my dad set up yesterday! He said he wants you to sign it!"

Hinata helped him up blushing madly. "Hinata did your dad give you anything like that for me to sign?"

Hinata stammered out a response as Naruto gazed at her and talked to her. "N-n-no Naruto-kun! Only that he wished us all luck on the mission…"

Naruto just gave her a thumbs' up and took out a pen. "Ok let's look this thing over…"

As Naruto undid the scroll he quickly skimmed over the important stuff but stopped suddenly. 'I Naruto Uzumaki will knowingly and willingly give up my left and right-" He meeped for a moment and then continued, 'Along with my-"

His face turned blue and sweat formed quickly as Tenten just rubbed the back of her head with a cute little shy giggle. "He might have gotten a little carried away but its alright!"

Naruto didn't feel that way as he started over breathing heavily. 'I Naruto Uzumaki will knowingly and willingly give up my left and right-" He skipped those words. 'along with my –skip- should anything inappropriate or indecent fall upon sweet and innocent Tenten's body, I will also commit seppuku through disemboweling should even the slightest idea of-"

Tenten cut him off waving her hands around anxiously while Naruto went beady eyed and whisperd. "This goes on…"

Hinata meanwhile had a hand over her heart and mouth while Tenten just skipped to the end. "Just sign it!"

Naruto groaned. "Do I have to sign it in blood?"

Tenten gave out a snort of laughter and bonked him lightly on the head. "Don't be silly! That parts for the child support agreement!"

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From about 5 blocks from the main gate where the others were waiting for her Sakura could have sworn she heard her teammate let out a shrill cry of "WHAAAT!?!?"

"That sounded just like Naruto?"

Sakura looked around bewildered as she slung her backpack over her shoulders. "Oh well."  
Sakura kept moving trying to get to the gate faster.

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Ino was just finishing up packing away all of her ninja gear, clothes, makeup, a picture of her old team, and a couple of hidden toys when someone knocked on her door.

"Who is it?"

She quickly went to answer and found Shikamaru and Chouji waiting for her. "Hey Ino, just came by to see if you wanted to join us for some barbeque?"

Chouji asked hopefully. Shikamaru just sighed.

"Sorry guys cant, I'm leaving for a big mission with the other girls and Naruto today!"

At the mention of Naruto Shikamaru looked confused. "Hm, Naruto? What's the mission?"

Ino just groaned as she began to lug her big bag out the door. "Nothing really, just gotta spend about a month looking like I'm in to Naruto is all…"

Both Shikamaru and Chouji looked shocked and speechless. "What?!"

Chouji asked now completely forgetting about food. "Ino just brushed their questions aside and gave them each a quick hug. "See you in a month I think, Ja ne!"

She waved them away and made for the main gate.

"Wow Shikamaru what was that about?"

Chouji asked as Shikamaru shook his head in amazement. "Chouji, I think Naruto just beat us to the girls…"

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Neji was relaxing for the first time that day, he had just learned from Hinata that she would be going on a month long mission and that he would have the house to himself, minus the little brat Hanabi or his Uncle training him. "Neji! Come quick before its to late!"

Neji groaned. "What is it Lee?"

Neji ran outside to find his spandex wearing teammate jogging in place. "Did you hear? Tenten is going on a month long mission with Naruto-kun!"

At that Neji suddenly stood in place and looked shocked. "What? Not Tenten!"

Both himself and Lee quickly ran to the gate.

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Naruto was just about to fall asleep when he heard footsteps coming his way. "Oh hey Sakura-chan!"

At hearing the word –chan Sakura stopped walking for a moment and stared at Naruto sadly. "Hey Naruto."

She quickly examined him to see if perhaps she had left a bigger bruise on his head but remembered the nine tailed fox would have healed it anyway. "Hey Tenten, Hinata."

Both girls gave Sakura a friendly wave or hello and sat down, Naruto was once again about to fall asleep when suddenly a cloud poofing infront of him made him aware of his surroundings. "Hey Kakashi-sensei!"

Sakura smiled at her old sensei who closed his book. "Yo, Hey Naruto…"

Naruto grinned. "Hey Kakashi-sensei, come to wish us luck on our big mission?"

Kakashi smiled under his mask. "Well sort of, actually I came here to give you something."

He dug through his pocket until he found what he was looking for. "This!"

Naruto looked at it curiously. "A piece of paper?"

Kakashi smiled. "Trust me and keep this with you."

Naruto just shrugged and pocketed the paper. "Thanks I guess."

Kakashi went to talk to Sakura just as the other sensei came to say good bye.

"Good luck on your mission Naruto."

Iruka smiled,

"Be careful with Ino Naruto."

Asuma whispered,

"Let the youth flow as free as a bird!"

Do I need to bother telling you?

"Be extra sweet to Hinata got it bub?"

Kurenai gave him an affectionate hair pull.

"Well I guess this is good bye for now Naruto,"

Tsunade just smiled softly. "Be careful with the girl Sakura, she may be the most difficult opponent you have ever faced…"

Sakura gulped at her masters words but thanked her anyway.

Naruto through a fist into the air. "Ok LETS GO!"

The mood was suddenly killed when Kakashi pointed out. "Hey um aren't we missing someone?"

Naruto looked around quickly. "Hey where's Ino?"

Everyone looked back at town to see a trail of dust following Ino as she rushed forwards dragging her luggage. "Wait for me!"

Naruto sighed as she finally advanced close enough to talk. "You shouldn't have packed so much Ino…"

She just gasped for breath and two seconds later heaved her luggage into the air and tossed it onto Naruto. "Naruto be a dear and carry my stuff would you?"

Naruto heaved as the air was knocked out of him and he was on the ground.

"Oh mine to please!"

Tentens bag weighed him down as Hinata smiled thankful. "Thank you Naruto-kun."

Naruto was gasping for breath as Sakura walked up to him. "Your such a sweety Naruto-_kun!_"

The way she said it worried him as her own bag was on top of him and the four girls went forward without him. "Um girls, aren't you forgetting someone?"

Tsunade sweatdropped as all the girls turned to see a blue in the face Naruto who's kicking was slowly lessening.

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Both Shikamaru and Chouji, and Lee and Neji, had met up at the gate running when suddenly they bumped into Shino and Kiba. "Hey you guys, have you seen Hinata anywhere?"

Kiba asked. "She was supposed to be here for her big mission." Shino growled at Kiba. "Half an hour ago. I told you feeding Akamaru would have to wait!"

Kiba groaned as the others all asked similar questions about their own kunoichi. "Hey you guys have you seen Naruto anywhere?"

All the boys looked to see Jiraiya coming forward, a smile on his face and an icepack in his pants. "Uh no, wait have you seen the girls?"

Chouji asked as Neji growled. "They must have all left for their mission together…"

All the guys looked at him confused. "What mission? What did Naruto do!"

Neji, Lee, and Jiraiya giving jackass comments explained to the others that the girls and Naruto had left for a month together. "Oh no!"

The boys shouted.

"Oh drat!" Jiraiya shouted. "Now how can I pass on my woman knowledge?"

Everyone looked at each other and then quickly ran home to plan their trip to save their girl or to get Naruto layed.

_I know it seems pretty unfunny but it will get better_


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Fans, I apologize for my lack of correspondence for this next chapter but… AW HELL, I was playing x-box 360 if any of you has anything to say about it you can bring it on

_Dear Fans, I apologize for my lack of correspondence for this next chapter but… AW HELL, I was playing x-box 360 if any of you has anything to say about it you can just keep that to yourself HALO 3 FTW_

Sakura had only just realized that after having missed breakfast this morning through Ino's comments keeping her from anything but a murderous rampage, she was starving now after having walked with her team for almost 3 hours.

"Phew! Can we take a break at that inn up ahead?" Sakura asked as her stomach growled causing her to blush.

"Come to think of it I'm kind of hungry to." Naruto grumbled holding his also noisy stomach.

"How can you be hungry you had 60 bowls of ramen before we left!"

Ino complained as Hinata spoke up with her cute little speech impediment.

"A-a-actual-ly Ino, I am also starting to hope we could stop for lunch." Hinata's blush after that only caused Tenten to imagine the sweet strawberry filling of a rice ball as she also was shocked by the quaking sound of her empty tummy.

"Lunch break!" Tenten proclaimed with a kitty cat like smile crawling over her features.

Ino could only sigh in frustration.

"Well I'm not even hungry!" She uttered as Sakura grinned resting a hand on her Ino's shoulders.

"You know Ino…" Her arm caught Ino's throat causing Ino to gag.

"We COULD just kill you, and use your looted cash to pay for the meal!" Sakura said it so sweetly that only Ino could tell just how dangerous she was at that moment.

"Point taken!" Ino voiced as Sakura let her go with a giggle.

"_Phew!" _Ino thought. _"Don't ever underestimate the power of a hungry Sakura!"_

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As the group finally rested at a teahouse up ahead everyone could only stare as Ino began to eat a lot more than anyone else was hungry for.

"So Ino, I thought you weren't hungry?" Tenten asked finishing her riceball.

Sakura who had ordered miso soup with wild vegetables could only smirk as her friend began to finally fall off her diet.

"Ta-take it easy Ino I don't know if I can pay for everyone after all this."

This caused everyone to stare at him for a moment ignoring their cuisines.

"Na-Naruto-kun, you're paying for all this?" Hinata asked blushing and taking a small nibble out of her foreign pot pie.

"Well sure I guess." Naruto scratched the back of his head shyly as Sakura smiled.

"Well good because I think I could go for desert!" Ino said with a catlike grin causing Naruto's wallet pocket to burn. As the group set off from the tea shop Sakura, Ino, Tenten, and Hinata were all happily moving along with full tummies while Naruto who was also full was left in the background sobbing over his poor empty froggy wallet.

"And he was so cute full!"

Naruto was moping in back as the girls all stared at him feeling slightly sorry for him.

"We have to come up with something to make it up to him…" Ino voiced as everyone nodded in agreement.

"It was nice of him to pay so let's come up with a big thank you to show him how nice it was!" Tenten whispered so he couldn't hear.

"But what?" Hinata asked.

Sakura began to think about it and suddenly realized that now she owed Naruto too things since she had beat the stuffing out of him for her mistake of him touching her bottom and then the meal.

"That and of course Sakura here still has to hop on Naruto's lap!" Ino burst out laughing but was soon silenced but a right hook to the gut as Sakura cursed her and turned frantically back to make sure Naruto hadn't heard that, luckily he was still moaning over Mr. Froggy.

The group continued their journey through the land of fire before coming super close to the land of rice. Both Sakura and Naruto seethed as they passed it but could do nothing as they were pulled along by the others.

"One of these days Sakura-chan don't you worry, we will get Sasuke back, I promise you." Naruto growled as Sakura could only nod her head in answer. Soon the group had reached the land of tea and it was at that point that Naruto finally decided to start whining.

"Guys I don't know about you but I don't think we can make it to the land of Earth in a single night!"

Both Sakura and Ino groaned at Naruto.

"Don't be such a baby Naruto we should make some good time tonight and then tomorrow I suppose… how long is this going to take anyway?" Ino wondered out loud.

"We-well…" Hinata removed a map from her satchel and everyone gathered around it curiously.

"We are about here…" She pointed to the middle of the tea country and showed how it was sandwiched between Earth and Fire.

"We have to get to about the middle of Earth country so if I calculated this correctly… we should be there by tomorrow night as long as we keep moving…very quickly.

Naruto scratched the back of his head.

"Jeeze Hinata since when are you good at geography?" Tenten asked what everyone else had been thinking.

"Well um… my byakugan allows me to see for a great distance so I could actually see for about 3000 kilometers… if I tried hard enough." Hinata blushed deeply as everyone stared jaws down.

"I-its just a gift…" She swore.

"Can Neji do it to?" Sakura asked bewildered as Tenten herself shook her head.

"Neji CANNOT not after I doused soap in his eyes for that shower incident…" She giggled evilly while everyone else stepped back in fear or stepped in way to interested.

"Sooooo…. What happened?" Naruto asked giggling like a school girl.

"Oh nothing much, Neji dared to use the only shower available on a mission before me so I pinned him to the floor and scrubbed soap in his eyes… I may have been PMSing as even Gai-sensei didn't punish me! But it might have been fear…" Tenten giggled sheepishly while now everyone WAS backing away in fear.

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That night was very comfortable for the girls who split up into two tents, Hinata and Ino in one, this was because Ino was scared of Sakura and Hinata was still rubbing her cheeks from that smack Tenten gave her, and Sakura and Tenten in another. Naruto was unfortunately void a tent and instead had to enjoy the starry skies in his sleeping bag, along with the mosquitoes.

"Ow baka not another one of you teme!" Naruto swatted in every direction before ducking under his sleeping bag in apprehension and falling asleep in an itchy rage…

_I ended this chapter a little boringly I think, don't worry the next chapter will take off during this scene as well and if MY calculations are correct they should be meeting the client soon. Oh joy… you have read it now REVIEW IT!_


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